THE SELF WORTH DIET – Because Low Self Esteem Is Fattening

Robin Williams and Surrender

Robin Williams

Like most of the world yesterday I was saddened by the news of Robin Williams suicide. Notice I say saddened but not shocked. When you’re in recovery you go to lots of funerals. There are three options for alcoholics and addicts if they continue to use or are “dry” (meaning they go to meetings and maybe even have a sponsor but don’t work a spiritual program) and they are: jails, institutions and death.

For my first five years of sobriety I didn’t have much of a spiritual program. I was concentrating on being of service, going to lots of meetings and hanging out with other people in recovery. I didn’t have a sponsor that was so keen on doing the steps. We did a basic job of going through the steps but it wasn’t enough.

At five years of sobriety I was in an abusive relationship and miserable. There wasn’t a day that I didn’t want to commit suicide. Everything looked fine on the outside but inside I was dying. I’m sure that psychiatrists would have diagnosed me with severe depression or some other mental illness but I knew the solution. Robin Williams knew the solution too, he was in recovery.

It’s hard to explain to people who are not addicts and alcoholics the deep despair us alchies go through when we’re “dry.” Its hard to explain the demons we fight when we’re in that state. It’s like you fall down a rabbit hole and can’t get out. One can be in that deep and morbid state of mind for a while before you can get pulled out.

What pulled me out was simple, it was my higher power. At five years of sobriety I finally surrendered and said, God help me, I can’t do this alone. When I said that prayer literally the next day I found a sponsor who is spiritual and works the steps thoroughly. I became God Centered instead of self centered.

Trust me, I was an atheist when I began my journey in recovery. When I realized that I could create my own concept of God it became very freeing for me. I surrendered my life over to the care of God and my life turned around.

I used to have one solution to my problems and that was to drink and use drugs. Now my solution is God, the steps and the program. It’s as simple as that. If I am uncomfortable or upset then I know there is no God in my life. In order to have that sense of ease and comfort in life I need to live this way. As a result I have never been happier and more at peace.

It is very sad that Robin Williams died. I looked up to him as a fellow comedian. Mork and Mindy was one of my favorite shows as a little girl and I even had a Mork and Mindy bathing suit. He was a genius. Many alcoholics and drugs addicts have that astounding talent but if they don’t arrest their disease by surrendering then they will never make it.

In an interview in 2010 Robin Williams talked about his lack of surrender to the program. He knew what he needed to do but for some reason was unwilling to do it. It goes to show you, you can have all the talent, accolades and money in the world but that won’t make you happy. In recovery I’ve never met anyone who has found happiness in those things. I have however found many who have found happiness by having a deep and lasting connection to their creator. Those are the ones who make it.

I wish for all of those suffering with the disease of alcoholism and addiction the gift of surrender. Throw in the towel, raise the white flag and admit complete defeat. It is the only way to survive.

8 Responses to “Robin Williams and Surrender”

  1. iceman18

    Half measures avail us nothing. At the five and a half year point of my sobriety, I had suffered greatly and was “willing to go to any length”. I used to hate that saying but now it became my rally cry. I was of no use to my family, wife, job friends or myself.

    I was an AA frequent flyer up until that point. I would go to AA, consider myself graduated, and move on with life. Or, so I thought. That dry drunkenness would set in, soon followed by depression and anxiety.

    Everything changed when I went back to AA and committed myself to the program. I love my life today!

  2. melsimpson

    as soon as I heard I wondered whether he was an alchie and sure enough he was one of us. what a prick of a mental disease… itll take you out if you don’t fess up everyday.. the mask…the lonliness fear and despair must have been frightening. his poor family and friends.

  3. Timothy Blair

    Robin Williams suffered from a debilitating, intransigent depression. It wasn’t alcohol or drugs that killed him.
    It was something very different.
    Nice to have a spiritual program. Good luck with that as a cure for mental illness.
    Alcoholics and addicts do have a choice.
    People with mental illness?
    Not so much.

      • justice4louie

        As a person that suffers from severe depression, anxiety, and ptsd. The despair he felt to be driven over the edge is unbearable. You are in the darkest day in your life. I blame the doctors and yes family member for not monitoring him closer. He was in a fragile state. Robin was an Empath. He took on all the feelings of people around him. Drug and alcohol addiction are demons in themselves. Most people that have addictions have mental illness. Undiagnosed and self medicating themselves drowning in the mental illness that afflicts them not know what is wrong with them.

  4. Mara Shapshay

    There are lots of people like myself who self medicated their anxiety and depression with drugs and alcohol. Many of us got to AA like that. I’m not saying that mental illness doesn’t need to be treated, it does.

    I can only speak for myself and say that now that I’ve been working a spiritual program my depression and anxiety has been lifted. I think if you have a true mental illness then medication, therapy in combination with a spiritual program would work very well. The key to me is going from self centered-ness to God centered-ness.

    Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. That goes for those with mental illnesses as well. But mostly we have to get out of ourselves and realize our primary purpose. Robin Williams could have helped so many people and that makes me sad.

    On another note, thanks everyone for commenting. I really appreciate it.



  5. Paulina

    Hi! I know this is kinda off topic but I’d figured I’d ask.
    Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest authoring a blog article or vice-versa?

    My blog discusses a lot of the same topics as yours and I
    believe we could greatly benefit from each other.
    If you are interested feel free to send me an e-mail.

    I look forward to hearing from you! Awesome blog by the way!


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