THE SELF WORTH DIET – Because Low Self Esteem Is Fattening

I am Gwyneth Paltrow’s Internet Troll


I admit, I love to rag on Gwyneth because it’s both comical and soooo easy. Next to watching the Bachelorette it’s probably my favorite guilty pleasure. It’s always a joy for me every Thursday when her new posting on Goop gets sent to me in my inbox. Invariably I will learn some very valuable lessons.

I learned from her Goop postings that if you have rich celebrity friends you can sell off your designer clothing to them for charity! I also learned that in order to properly clean your apartment you need really expensive but environmentally safe cleaning supplies. All of her posts are so elitist and pretentious that sometimes I actually vomit.

I think Gwyneth thinks she is trying to make the world a better place but she lacks the humility to actually do that. The other thing she is lacking is perspective. I mean she is so out of touch with reality. I think that comes from not having to struggle or work hard for anything she has. So, even when her intentions are good she comes across as a victim who is ungrateful and lacking in self reflection.

Gwyneth recently spoke at a big tech conference to talk about the dark side of the internet. We all know the internet has many faults, one of them is that it gives voice to every angry idiot out there. It’s happened to me before.   I was in a very public lawsuit and the stuff people were saying about me was vicious. I also write for the Huffington Post so when you put yourself out there you’re gonna get ugly comments.

I learned that it is none of my business what others think of me or write about me. If you’re a celebrity or put yourself out there like I do, then you’re going to get nailed. It comes with the territory.

What bothers me about when Gwyneth speaks out she is always sticking up for the celebrity like they need her help. I didn’t know she was the United Nations of celebrity. I work in the industry. I’ve seen many a celebrity rider. You should be grateful you get paid an exorbitant amount of money while using your gold plated bidet in your double wide set trailer while eating only green M and M’s. We should be sticking up for the poor, the disenfranchised and those who live in war torn countries.

Please Gwyneth, take some responsibility for your actions and for what you say. The reason why people rag on you is because you say stupid shit. Working Moms who have 9 to 5 jobs don’t have it easier than you. Why the hell did you think it was a good idea to say “conscious uncoupling?”

Here are some of my favorite quotes from Queen Paltrow:

“I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin.”

“I am who I am. I can’t pretend to be someone who makes $25,000 a year.”

…And my favorite quote is this one because she wants us all to know that her besties are Jay-Z and Beyonce.

“I don’t hold on to fear as much as I used to, because I’ve learned a lot about genuinely not caring what strangers think about me. It’s very liberating. It’s very empowering, and I’ve learned a lot from Jay Z because his approach to life is very internal. It’s a very good lesson to learn.”

My point is, she has no clue and seems to think it is okay to say whatever outrageously snobby thing she wants because if we have a problem with it, well, it’s our fault because we’re trolls and we’re hurting inside.



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